they will. and when they do, it'll be three times worse than if they had seen it in the beginning. sigh.
do you know what i am talking about? i don't really know what i'm talking about. just feeling slightly uneasy at work lately. the dynamic is changing a little bit. then again, i'm always thinking too much.
work aside, i was just pondering recently, whether i make it a point to have fun in life. or if i just sit around and wait for it to find me. then it made me wonder what i consider to be 'fun'. i realised i don't find many things fun. like REALLY fun, you know? like, thrilling. like how some people find clubbing fun, or skateboarding, or dancing. but for me, i really can't think of anything. theme parks, maybe. but how often do any of us get to do that?
if i had to pinpoint a certain occasion i considered to be fun, it would be the recent night out at supperclub - but only at one point in time. that single moment when Guns & Roses came on and we were on the dancefloor. and everyone was singing along to the chorus. it was quite surreal to me, for some reason. but the rest of the night was pretty blah. still don't fit in very well with the clubbing scene.
but yeah. if i could find more moments like that in my life, i would think i'd be a happier person. we should ALL try to find those moments.
i feel like continuing my ramble. cos i am bored out of my mind here. been sitting in this room the whole day. i wanna do new things. but i'm also afraid of screwing up. or not meeting expectations. HOWWWWW
maybe i should start on another short film idea.
bahhh. back to logging for now.
timber.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
isn't it funny,
that i'm waiting in the office for shitload of files to convert, while listening to Imogen Heap's Wait It Out?
i think it's funny.
anyway. been trying to write a story. an idea for a short film. took a couple days to write, and it was going pretty well, until i stopped believing in my story.
why? i don't know. just did. it didn't feel very special after a while. kinda felt like someone else had already taken the story.
aside from writing that story, been filling my head with all sorts of other distractions. books. music. photoshopping. work, evidently. because every time i stop, the void returns and i get scared. i don't even know where it came from.
bah. stupid emotions. stupid converter. stupid everything.
ha, sorry. a not very sensible and rather non committal post today. just need to type for my sanity tonight. still deciding if i should stay overnight in office. hate leaving things half done. bloody hell.
i may need supperclub on sat.
i think it's funny.
anyway. been trying to write a story. an idea for a short film. took a couple days to write, and it was going pretty well, until i stopped believing in my story.
why? i don't know. just did. it didn't feel very special after a while. kinda felt like someone else had already taken the story.
aside from writing that story, been filling my head with all sorts of other distractions. books. music. photoshopping. work, evidently. because every time i stop, the void returns and i get scared. i don't even know where it came from.
bah. stupid emotions. stupid converter. stupid everything.
ha, sorry. a not very sensible and rather non committal post today. just need to type for my sanity tonight. still deciding if i should stay overnight in office. hate leaving things half done. bloody hell.
i may need supperclub on sat.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
doctors today
need to learn to treat their patients like humans.
i stormed out of the doc's office today. after waiting for 2 hours, during which i suffered 2 or 3 excruciating stomach spasms, the doc dismissed me after a mere 3 minute consultation.
yes, i know the polyclinic is busiest on mondays and you need to wrap up each case as quickly as possible. that's fine. at least look me in the damn eye and do not treat me like i'm just another teenager looking for an mc. because i was in genuine pain, but you didn't seem to believe me.
even family doctors today aren't very family-oriented at all! nor dentists. i hate walking a room full of people wearing face masks who don't really acknowledge you, then charge you a hell of a sum for a brief consultation.
i understand you all have a job to do. all i am asking is to remember that your patients are people, not "cases". FYI, you are holding one of the highest paying jobs in society. it won't hurt to be a little nicer.
i stormed out of the doc's office today. after waiting for 2 hours, during which i suffered 2 or 3 excruciating stomach spasms, the doc dismissed me after a mere 3 minute consultation.
yes, i know the polyclinic is busiest on mondays and you need to wrap up each case as quickly as possible. that's fine. at least look me in the damn eye and do not treat me like i'm just another teenager looking for an mc. because i was in genuine pain, but you didn't seem to believe me.
even family doctors today aren't very family-oriented at all! nor dentists. i hate walking a room full of people wearing face masks who don't really acknowledge you, then charge you a hell of a sum for a brief consultation.
i understand you all have a job to do. all i am asking is to remember that your patients are people, not "cases". FYI, you are holding one of the highest paying jobs in society. it won't hurt to be a little nicer.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
flickr
updated.
whole day shoot today. brain's dead. so are my legs. twas fun tho.
i feel like a rant. been thinking a lot lately. but these eyelids weigh a ton and my brain's working at about 5%. so ima rant another time.
goodnight, now.
p.s. happy birthday, baby sister.
whole day shoot today. brain's dead. so are my legs. twas fun tho.
i feel like a rant. been thinking a lot lately. but these eyelids weigh a ton and my brain's working at about 5%. so ima rant another time.
goodnight, now.
p.s. happy birthday, baby sister.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
HELLOHELLOHELLOHELLOHELLO
HELLOHELLO I AM FINALLY BLOGGING
not that anyone has missed me here. BUT YES. i am blogging.
i'm taking a break. logging is getting to me. i wanna do transcribinggg. and cutting screeners is a scary task, especially when you know how high the expectation is. sigh.
but anyhow. great time catching up with nad, cheryl & zaf last night. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NADIAH (HAZWANI? lol) it's always nice to reminisce about our tard days in yishun town. and nad drives! i have a friend who drives now!!! we're officially cool.
speaking of cool, i realized in general society, you're 'cool' if you do/have the following traits:
• you are fluent in vulgarities (of various languages and dialects)
• you smoke
• you adopt a bad-ass, screw-the-world-type-attitude
• you are selective with your friends
• you're thin beyond words (if you're a girl)
• you're a wisecrack (if you're a guy)
• (?)
i probably only fit one of the points above. which i'm not proud of. i think it's sad that our definition of cool has become that warped. i mean, no one would actually admit those are 'cool' traits. but reality proves it. i see it happening around me everyday. and i don't think that idea will change any time soon.
BUT THEN i was also thinking lately. i've come to the conclusion that things HAVE to suck. things can't go smoothly. they're not meant to. we need sadness. we need anger. we need grief. we can't live in a perfect world. i think that would be boring. but then, i thought, what the hell would heaven be like, then? (haha, get it, what the HELL, and, HEAVEN ha ha) but then again, the bible says that Jesus loves parties. He was always goin to parties. so yeah. parties are good. so i guess it's okay that heaven's perfect.
kay enough rant. better get back to the logging. zz.
not that anyone has missed me here. BUT YES. i am blogging.
i'm taking a break. logging is getting to me. i wanna do transcribinggg. and cutting screeners is a scary task, especially when you know how high the expectation is. sigh.
but anyhow. great time catching up with nad, cheryl & zaf last night. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NADIAH (HAZWANI? lol) it's always nice to reminisce about our tard days in yishun town. and nad drives! i have a friend who drives now!!! we're officially cool.
speaking of cool, i realized in general society, you're 'cool' if you do/have the following traits:
• you are fluent in vulgarities (of various languages and dialects)
• you smoke
• you adopt a bad-ass, screw-the-world-type-attitude
• you are selective with your friends
• you're thin beyond words (if you're a girl)
• you're a wisecrack (if you're a guy)
• (?)
i probably only fit one of the points above. which i'm not proud of. i think it's sad that our definition of cool has become that warped. i mean, no one would actually admit those are 'cool' traits. but reality proves it. i see it happening around me everyday. and i don't think that idea will change any time soon.
BUT THEN i was also thinking lately. i've come to the conclusion that things HAVE to suck. things can't go smoothly. they're not meant to. we need sadness. we need anger. we need grief. we can't live in a perfect world. i think that would be boring. but then, i thought, what the hell would heaven be like, then? (haha, get it, what the HELL, and, HEAVEN ha ha) but then again, the bible says that Jesus loves parties. He was always goin to parties. so yeah. parties are good. so i guess it's okay that heaven's perfect.
kay enough rant. better get back to the logging. zz.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
to make instant noodles,
or not to make instant noodles. that is tonight's question.
i've been eating a whole lot lately. and i end up getting really full, and then really hungry just minutes after.
what's happening!??
anyway. got the mac back. it's literally brand new. and that sucks. i miss my worn out stickers on the deck. and my folders and folders of useless but pretty images. and the million bookmarked pages on my firefox. but oh well.
the weekends are over. a new work week's on it's way OH SH-- MONTHLY LOG DUE. curses. christmas needs to happen soon. we need a little merry in the dull.
i've been eating a whole lot lately. and i end up getting really full, and then really hungry just minutes after.
what's happening!??
anyway. got the mac back. it's literally brand new. and that sucks. i miss my worn out stickers on the deck. and my folders and folders of useless but pretty images. and the million bookmarked pages on my firefox. but oh well.
the weekends are over. a new work week's on it's way OH SH-- MONTHLY LOG DUE. curses. christmas needs to happen soon. we need a little merry in the dull.
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