forgive me if this all sounds very sexist.

i'm in the middle of reading High Fidelity. i'm learning a lot about the mind of the modern man. and it's made me believe for sure that men like Tom Hansen certainly do not exist. that Bruno Mars' love songs are all a lie. name me a guy who's so sure that he loves you, who wants you so bad. name me a guy who thinks your hair falls perfectly without you trying, or who'd catch a grenade for you. call me a skeptic, but i haven't met many males like that. and if you have, well, they're probably taken, or not the least bit interested in you. the modern male is very clever in winning the heart of a girl. very charming at first, very promising. but once he's gotten her interest, his job is done, and he gets bored of her all too quickly.

but i guess it works both ways. girls all want a guy like Tom Hansen. a decent guy who wants them for more than just sex. but very few love stories are at all like the movies. guys want a girl like Scarlett Johansson or Kate Beckinsale or any other hot celebrity. some guys say they want your typical girl next door. but they realize after being together awhile that she's 'not good enough'. and in the end, sex is usually the thing that barely saves the relationship. both genders want something that is nearly, if not totally impossible to find.

so wake up everybody. true love is a fucking fairy tale.

i don't like know-it-alls. i don't like how they sound, how they think they know it all when it's all pretty duh~ information that everyone else knows. or doesn't need to know because, well, they don't give a shit. i don't like when they casually accuse you of something (and then laugh it off) because they THOUGHT they knew it all but they really don't.

and my neighbour's kid is crying again. i'm not sure if he's being a brat or is getting abused. but he just sounds like he wants something and is not getting it. but omg they should really think about soundproofing their entire house.

life is pretty pointless right now. waiting to finish school, then to start working proper. i don't feel like doing anything lately and marcus has been pretty busy with his stuff so i feel a little distant. i find my mind wandering a lot and i don't like it so i constantly need to find something to do.

oh, but i am looking forward to my first driving lesson. hopefully i won't twitch involuntarily and steer off the multi-storey carpark.

and srsly. kid next door needs to stop being so fucking dramatic.

OH and HELLO GLENNWOO, probably the only eyes that reach this blog to date! haha update your blog too, high butterfly~

need to spend less save more.
eat less run more.
stone less read more.

NEED MORE SLEEP.

need a holiday.

need to get my cameras out more.
need to play more music.

need to start being serious about filmmaking, hello

needs, needs, needs.

i'm in a place i do not understand.

it feels a little like i'm losing myself. i'm not sure if it's school, or people, or life in general. something seems to be sucking the life out of my soul. perhaps i'm being melodramatic. i'm not upset or depressed or sad or happy or angry or anything. i'm pretty much just this vessel of blankness at the moment. i'm hanging on to what i can, but i zone out pretty quickly. nothing seems very compelling. nothing seems very believable. i'm asking God to keep my feet on the ground, but i feel like i'm drifting off to limbo, molecule by molecule. i'm off balance. and perhaps this is all very normal, being human. and it will probably pass. but right now.. i don't like it one bit.

it's starting.

for some reason that i do not at all comprehend, i'm feeling pretty zen tonight. i mean, i've barely studied for my midterm tomorrow. and i haven't got proper ideas for my new assignment, which i also have to present in front of everyone tomorrow. and i despise public speaking with a fierce passion. and yet here i am, all chilled out, worry-free, not an inkling of urgency in me.

it's weird because i've been all stressed and freaked out and emo and shit-i-hate-my-fucking-life for the past few weeks. so this feeling of chill is really out of nowhere. i could go to bed now without getting anything done and still feel indifferent about it.

THIS IS SO WEIRD.

but i like it. haven't felt this peace in a while. i hope it stays.

anyway for those who frequent glennwoo's xanga, her blog has locked her out (the loser), so she has created a new blog. go here if you like llamas.

with that i bid you goodnight world. off to bask in my zen-ness.

ho ho.

sometimes you feel like you're down in the dumps, and you're like, bahhh it'll pass in a week or so. after a week, you don't feel much different, but you're still optimistic; it'll pass, i'm just thinking too much, it'll pass. after a month or so, you're like. what the fuck is going on.

i feel abit overwhelmed lately. just a tiny bit. it feels like i took a step back to look around me and i suddenly realize there's like a shitload of things going on. i mean not just in my own world, like everywhere; the whole world in general. there's too much going on. too bloody much for our own good.

i'm not sure if this is making sense.