Overdramatised.

forgive me if this all sounds very sexist.

2011-05-20T23:44:00.002+08:00

i'm in the middle of reading High Fidelity. i'm learning a lot about the mind of the modern man. and it's made me believe for sure that men like Tom Hansen certainly do not exist. that Bruno Mars' love songs are all a lie. name me a guy who's so sure that he loves you, who wants you so bad. name me a guy who thinks your hair falls perfectly without you trying, or who'd catch a grenade for you. call me a skeptic, but i haven't met many males like that. and if you have, well, they're probably taken, or not the least bit interested in you. the modern male is very clever in winning the heart of a girl. very charming at first, very promising. but once he's gotten her interest, his job is done, and he gets bored of her all too quickly.

but i guess it works both ways. girls all want a guy like Tom Hansen. a decent guy who wants them for more than just sex. but very few love stories are at all like the movies. guys want a girl like Scarlett Johansson or Kate Beckinsale or any other hot celebrity. some guys say they want your typical girl next door. but they realize after being together awhile that she's 'not good enough'. and in the end, sex is usually the thing that barely saves the relationship. both genders want something that is nearly, if not totally impossible to find.

so wake up everybody. true love is a fucking fairy tale.

2011-04-16T20:05:00.003+08:00

i don't like know-it-alls. i don't like how they sound, how they think they know it all when it's all pretty duh~ information that everyone else knows. or doesn't need to know because, well, they don't give a shit. i don't like when they casually accuse you of something (and then laugh it off) because they THOUGHT they knew it all but they really don't.

and my neighbour's kid is crying again. i'm not sure if he's being a brat or is getting abused. but he just sounds like he wants something and is not getting it. but omg they should really think about soundproofing their entire house.

life is pretty pointless right now. waiting to finish school, then to start working proper. i don't feel like doing anything lately and marcus has been pretty busy with his stuff so i feel a little distant. i find my mind wandering a lot and i don't like it so i constantly need to find something to do.

oh, but i am looking forward to my first driving lesson. hopefully i won't twitch involuntarily and steer off the multi-storey carpark.

and srsly. kid next door needs to stop being so fucking dramatic.

OH and HELLO GLENNWOO, probably the only eyes that reach this blog to date! haha update your blog too, high butterfly~

2010-12-04T01:30:00.002+08:00

need to spend less save more.
eat less run more.
stone less read more.

NEED MORE SLEEP.

need a holiday.

need to get my cameras out more.
need to play more music.

need to start being serious about filmmaking, hello

needs, needs, needs.

2010-11-19T23:47:00.000+08:00

i'm in a place i do not understand.

2010-11-06T00:10:00.004+08:00

it feels a little like i'm losing myself. i'm not sure if it's school, or people, or life in general. something seems to be sucking the life out of my soul. perhaps i'm being melodramatic. i'm not upset or depressed or sad or happy or angry or anything. i'm pretty much just this vessel of blankness at the moment. i'm hanging on to what i can, but i zone out pretty quickly. nothing seems very compelling. nothing seems very believable. i'm asking God to keep my feet on the ground, but i feel like i'm drifting off to limbo, molecule by molecule. i'm off balance. and perhaps this is all very normal, being human. and it will probably pass. but right now.. i don't like it one bit.

2010-10-26T00:41:00.001+08:00

it's starting.

2010-10-19T03:20:00.002+08:00

for some reason that i do not at all comprehend, i'm feeling pretty zen tonight. i mean, i've barely studied for my midterm tomorrow. and i haven't got proper ideas for my new assignment, which i also have to present in front of everyone tomorrow. and i despise public speaking with a fierce passion. and yet here i am, all chilled out, worry-free, not an inkling of urgency in me.

it's weird because i've been all stressed and freaked out and emo and shit-i-hate-my-fucking-life for the past few weeks. so this feeling of chill is really out of nowhere. i could go to bed now without getting anything done and still feel indifferent about it.

THIS IS SO WEIRD.

but i like it. haven't felt this peace in a while. i hope it stays.

anyway for those who frequent glennwoo's xanga, her blog has locked her out (the loser), so she has created a new blog. go here if you like llamas.

with that i bid you goodnight world. off to bask in my zen-ness.

2010-10-08T03:03:00.002+08:00

ho ho.

2010-10-03T01:31:00.002+08:00

sometimes you feel like you're down in the dumps, and you're like, bahhh it'll pass in a week or so. after a week, you don't feel much different, but you're still optimistic; it'll pass, i'm just thinking too much, it'll pass. after a month or so, you're like. what the fuck is going on.

2010-09-21T01:08:00.002+08:00

i feel abit overwhelmed lately. just a tiny bit. it feels like i took a step back to look around me and i suddenly realize there's like a shitload of things going on. i mean not just in my own world, like everywhere; the whole world in general. there's too much going on. too bloody much for our own good.

i'm not sure if this is making sense.

2010-09-04T00:26:00.003+08:00

landon pigg - falling in love at a coffee shop.

2010-08-22T04:15:00.002+08:00

head hurts like fuck.

2010-08-15T21:24:00.003+08:00

when we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars. lol.

2010-08-08T18:23:00.001+08:00

I Just Want You (Cover)

originally by AJ Rafael

my voice is too sleepy for this song but i got excited after learning the ukulele part, so i just recorded anyway.

so uh. happy eve of national day i guess

2010-08-08T02:19:00.003+08:00

check out my happening bakery yo ;)
that's me in the far corner of the kitchen!
yea the sexy green temptress

find me a life please.

2010-08-05T15:36:00.002+08:00

why do i put myself through the torture of wanting to be loved. wanting to be held for a while. wanting to be taken care of for a change. hasn't my independence always been something i've been proud of?

2010-07-30T01:19:00.002+08:00

High & Dry (Cover)

another spontaneous recording cos i got lonely today lol. it's not perfect. alot of little glitches here and there. but i feel accomplished! cos it's RADIOHEAD - they are so hard to cover :| but yes. here it is. shall take a break from michaelson lol. k ima stop typing cos apparently i type too loudly. bye!

2010-07-20T12:23:00.001+08:00

i should stop trying to please the world.

2010-07-18T01:24:00.002+08:00

asdfkja;lskdjf;lksdjf;ajkdf

k i'm running on 2% energy right now. can't complain, cos i did make the choice to party all night then work my ass off the next day. so.

it was an interesting-ish night. something happened that still lingers in my subconscious throughout the day. it's been rather depressing. and i realize my body doesn't retain the euphoria of alcohol for very long. so i don't know why i put myself through the ordeal of clubbing. it's expensive, and it sucks away every ounce of my happiness for that one night. like a damn dementor.

maybe i just like the idea that nobody really knows who you are in a club. so in a way you feel somewhat... safe.

k i dunno wth i'm still up. i should declare sundays my anti-social day of the week. for the sake of my sanity.

ok so i shall end off with:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIN EEEEEEE!!!!
and
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZAFRIEEEEE!!!!

lol have a blessed one :)

2010-07-04T13:13:00.002+08:00

life this week:

tuesday: i wake up. i go to udders 9-5 shift. i go home. i edit photos. i go to bed at 12.

wednesday: i wake up. i go to mindchamps. glenn flies off to taiwan. i wrap books and laminate things. i get off work. i have dinner with docpro girls. we walk like crazy. i come home. i go to bed at 1.

thursday: i wake up. i meet the mindchamps girls. i go to udders for night shift. i come home. i go to bed at 2.

friday: i wake up. i edit photos the entire day. i go for a midnight movie. i come home. i edit more photos. i go to bed at 3.

saturday: i wake up. i go to mindchamps. i take care of little tykes. i get the afternoon off. i go home. i edit more photos. i go to udders for night shift. thankfully the world cup was too important for customers to miss - wasn't too busy a night. josh drives me home (THANK YOU). i edit more photos and finally finish the lot. i go to bed at 4.

today: i think i can go to bed at 11. :)

2010-07-01T01:19:00.002+08:00

i don't know how i overlooked James Morrison in the past. he has amazing vocals and is so natural at the whole blues thing. i don't like all his songs; some are a little meh, and after awhile they tend to sound alike. but his acoustic songs, those are really beautiful.

anyway. GLENN! please have all the fun in the world in taiwan! i'll miss you this week lol :(

had a nice evening out with txw and elainechai. we discuss serious things like the media industry and our futures. sometimes i feel inadequate when they go into the technical stuff. but it's ok.

alright. time for more photo editing and James Morrison. night, world.

2010-06-26T00:50:00.005+08:00

it's been awhile since these eyes have met tears that mean more than just a yawn. when it happened today it felt rather foreign. but at the same time i was glad that my ducts still work. lol

on another note, i really wonder why i make myself put up with 2 jobs. srsly.

2010-06-20T23:38:00.004+08:00

so i'm back from church camp. lots of photos to select and edit. including those from the wedding. i think i might go mad. but anywhoo the camp was pretty normal. helping out at the kids camp made it happening enough. and the games for father's day as well haha.

ok updates aside, i've been thinking (gasp). i used to have these big dreams of having a career outside of singapore, right? like in LA or New York, or in UK, or Australia or New Zealand. there was a point i could not imagine having any sort of ideal career here in singapore. i mean the film industry here can only offer us so much. true, the industry's growing and has a lot of potential in asia. but i've always wanted much more than that.

now, however, that dream is getting dimmer and dimmer. suddenly my ideal career doesn't matter as much to me. even though it can be a pretty tight-assed place to live in, i think singapore is the only place i can ever feel at home. these days i don't feel the urge to have to be exposed to the industries in these other big countries. it makes me a little sad that i feel that way now. like i've lost my fire. or maybe i'm just growing old. and i'm tired of having these big dreams. like. suddenly the idea of just settling for a safe job here, getting married, having a family, and living comfortably enough doesn't seem so bad. and of course we would save enough to travel to as many places as we can before we die.

so.. in the end, i would have lived a full enough life, right? i just will never know what it would've been like if i had gone down the other path. but that's okay. right?

any ideas, God?

2010-06-18T00:32:00.002+08:00

The Way I Am (cover)

cos my family has gone off to m'sia first, i'm alone at home and the silence is a little too much, so. what better time to make another cover. this one's also by a request of sorts. lol

and i want to say thank you for all the encouraging comments from the previous cover. really means alot :]

k need to pack. off to m'sia in 4 hours. ha.

2010-06-16T02:03:00.002+08:00

~mahalo~
lol
i m lyk soo retarded~~

2010-06-15T08:13:00.000+08:00

IT'S TOO. FREAKIN. EARLY. :(

2010-06-04T00:16:00.002+08:00

the internet's being a dick.

in other news, daniel is off to serve our glorious nation. farewell, friend! stay strong, and stay true to yourself haha. the two weeks will fly by :)

mm. i feel like having a tub of b&j's mint choc chunk all to myself right now. i'm in one of those overly neutral moods. it's a little unnerving. :|

2010-05-28T03:24:00.008+08:00

The Chain (Cover)

so glide away on soapy heels
and promise not to promise anymore
and if you come around again
then i will take, then i will take
the chain from off the door
-

so i finally got off my ass and recorded a full song. although it's not one of my own, covers are always a start, no? forgive the mediocre instrument recording and queer soprano vocals - if you have not heard me sing, this may be weird for you. but nevertheless, the significance of this song is not so much the quality, but the fact that i actually did it. ha

okay. long couple of days ahead. goodnight.

at journey's end..

2010-05-26T02:20:00.005+08:00

you have been an inspiration and a blessing to so many people, even to almost-strangers like myself. we are proud of you, and so is our Father. rest in peace.

2010-05-16T02:37:00.003+08:00

i would have spoken up, but i find it rather pointless. people who have that kind of character are very unlikely to change, especially if someone like me - a meek insignificant individual - had spoken up to them. so i merely observe from the sidelines, take your crap when i have to, and tell myself it's hardly worth getting upset over your snide remarks and sarcastic "feedback", as you so call it.

and this is just from one night working with this group.

i'll just say that we are new, not stupid. there's a difference. then again, people like you don't care. -shrugz

k i'm off to bed. hopefully i'll be alive enough to sing tomorrow. night!

2010-05-09T21:23:00.002+08:00

thought of the day: people sometimes like you better when you're vulgar and uncouth. it's just that no one will admit it.

2010-05-02T14:15:00.002+08:00

it's a bit difficult, working out my answer when people ask "so are you going to uni?" here's how it usually goes:

1) i would tell them, yes i am heading to chapman university. then i will expect the arch of an eyebrow, a questioning expression. i would explain that it is based in ngee ann poly.

2) then sometimes people ask, "oh, so it's private?" and i would think about it for awhile, cos im not exactly sure what it is. but since it is kind of like private, i just say yes, you could say that. chapman is actually an american uni.

3) then sometimes people ask "omg so you're going to america!" and i would be like, no no, the uni is based in ngee ann poly, haha. then i usually explain that i may get the opportunity to go to hollywood or the school at orange county.

4) then sometimes people then ask "wow, so you'll be there for how many years?" and i'll be like, "oh, no, it's only if i'm good enough to be selected, and it's only for about a month or so."

5) then they will ask, "so what course are you taking there?" and i would say creative producing. the next reaction would either be another arch of an eyebrow, or sometimes "oh, but i thought you studied mass comm?" to the first, i would say oh it's creative producing for film, sort of like the mass comm/business side of film. to the latter, i would say i just decided to study film instead, and since the course was designed for mass comm and film students from ngee ann, why not.

haha i'm just saying. it's quite funny actually. if i had gone to a local uni, my answer to the question would be much shorter. and people would probably be more impressed too. but in any case, i'm pretty excited about chapman. for now though, i really need to earn my keep. :|

omg.

2010-04-30T03:30:00.002+08:00

this insomnia thing is no joke. i feel like im going mad by just lying there. seriously, my mind feels like it's going to explode from all the restlessness. why won't i fall asleep??????? and i supposedly have to work tomorrow, so this is not good. ughh heeeeeellllpppppp meeeeee :(

nothing much

2010-04-15T17:33:00.002+08:00

nothing much

is going on.

nothing at all, actually.

so little is happening,

that pretty much nothing

is happening.

so much so,

that now,

perhaps more than ever,

i want to fly to paris,

to prague, to london,

to listen to fine orchestras,

appreciate tea,

walk on cobblestone,

ride horses...

but alas,

alas

nothing.

i am living in limbo.

now we're talkin!

2010-03-31T20:33:00.003+08:00

so while i was semi conscious after having a glass of eoin's semi deadly concoction of god knows what, american idol was on. and even while i was in my slightly groggy state, siobhan's performance blew my socks off! she is uh-may-zing. i've found reason to start watching AI. two, actually; the other being crystal bowersox! though i'm not a fan of country, she performs so effortlessly and genuinely it's hard not to be in awe when she sings. they all have weird names, though - siobhan magnus. crystal bowersox. didi benami. this guy called lee dewyze. then again the ones with normal names really dont stand out at all.

so, yes. 10pm tonight :D

today i also got around to watching How To Be, where Rob Pattinson plays an extremely socially awkward character trying to be happy. or something like that. you can never really assume for such indie movies. it's a bit unsettling to watch him play such a stark contrast from the suave, mysterious edward cullen. but it was a good movie. strange acting, good minimal soundtrack and appropriate silences always seem to be the key to a good indie flick.

alright im going for a jog or something. seeya

also, check out

my flickr in ihkh

asdfghjkl;

2010-03-24T00:07:00.002+08:00

so. i clicked on the 'new post' tab. but i don't really have anything to say.

maybe i do, but i figure it's pointless anyway.

so maybe i should just go and read my book or something.

it's new. the perks of being a wallflower :D

yeah. maybe i will do just that.

or maybe i'll watch skins and get depressed.

like how i got depressed after reading jodi picoult's handle with care. by far the most disappointing story ending i've ever read in my life. i still love you jodi, but srsly. that ending left me crushed. crushed.

k so maybe watching skins isn't a great idea.

but reading a book before i sleep gives me a headache.

nabeiz.

idk,

2010-03-23T01:51:00.002+08:00

maybe it would stop hurting if you quit thinking about yourself all the time.

zomg.

2010-03-19T01:20:00.001+08:00

You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.

You are a fighter and always on the defensive. You always need to be sure that your position is safe and established. When you finally make a decision you will pursue it to the bitter end in spite of all opposition.

You are confined and trapped in a distressing or uncomfortable situation and seeking some way out. Whatever you seem to do to resolve the problem hasn't worked out. Fortunately you are able to gain some aspect of relief from someone close to you.

You are an emotional, sincere and impressionable individual experiencing frustration and unnecessary stress. You are carried away by other people's enthusiasm and looking for that idealised relationship, be it in a business or personal situation, which you are able to share with a mutual depth of understanding. You have lowered your defences in the past and you have been hurt, so you are now extremely wary of being exploited. You are still ready to trust people on the condition that they are prepared to offer you proof of their sincerity.

You are inclined to be too trusting and you feel that you need to be on your guard against the possibility that your endeavours and actions may be misunderstood. Too often you have been taken advantage of and you have been mentally abused. Now you are seeking a relationship which can provide peace of mind, where you can be yourself and not have the need to put on a false front.

http://colorgenicstest.com/

are these things freaky or what? :|

the girls

2010-03-17T04:16:00.003+08:00

i like how the fan is oscillating lol

hopelights

2010-03-17T03:00:00.006+08:00

i'm baaaackk

trip was good. mostly shopping. eating. walking. taking taxis. getting conned. more walking. getting lost. taking more taxis. more shopping. typical bangkok trip. what made it exciting was the fact that it was my first independent trip with friends, and the reward was the discovery in the travel. you learn a lot as you go along. especially from getting conned.

in shopping news, got bev and myself some cool new lights from chatuchak - best place to shop in my opinion, if you don't mind the sweltering heat.

wish i'd gotten a couple more. wish i'd gotten a lot of other shit, but oh well. lesson learnt. i got these ringz too!

shoulda gotten more of these too. baaah.

anyway. yeah. i'm back.

and the winner is...

2010-03-09T01:16:00.003+08:00

every year i find myself captivated by the Oscars. the grandness of the occasion. the beautiful people. the films and the people that receive due recognition. even after reading about the ugly reality behind the glam of hollywood in James Frey's Bright Shiny Morning, the Oscars still enthralls me. even though hollywood holds no future for someone like me, it keeps me motivated. keeps me dreaming.

it's funny how when there is a commercial break in between the Oscars, and you see the trailers for local productions, you notice the vast, vast difference in quality. of course our local productions are based on our local identity, and we should not have to follow that of the western. but sometimes i wish we had what hollywood has. but alas it is economically, and culturally impossible.

filmmakers in young industries like in Singapore are really trying to make it happen here. and although our generation of content creators will not be able to enjoy the era when we eventually break through the industry, i believe we will arise as much stronger, and much more passionate artists, than even those in hollywood. maybe one day Singapore will grace those red carpets. maybe one day Singapore will surprise the world.

man. you gotta love the Oscars.

someone like sid.

2010-03-03T18:00:00.004+08:00

been hooked on Skins lately. toggling between that, and 10 Things I Hate About You the series. one brit, one american. both based on the teenage crisis, but in such different contexts.

i like how Skins tells the other side of every character. it makes you fall in love with all of them. and of course, in every series, we always pick out our favourites. Sid. Cassie. Maxxie. sometimes Tony. it sucks that the whole cast changes from season 3. pfft. suppose it's still good though.

goodness. i get too emotionally caught up with these fictional characters and their fictional lives. but i guess that's the point. can't wait for the next season of 10 Things, trash as it may be. who can resist a Patrick Verona? shall get my hands on the original too. yes, i am a loser for not having watched it yet :(

supposed to meet cheryl & zaf already. so tempted to watch the next ep of Skins though. :| no. no. need to get out. k, bye!

Sid.

and after a year or so;

2010-02-27T00:59:00.003+08:00

sisters on canvas by beverly ann

i've watched this painting's progress for... about a year? and i must say it's turned out lovely. WELL DONE SISTER. and thank yoooouuu :D

so if anyone wants their portrait on canvas, lemme know! haha.

war;

2010-02-25T21:24:00.006+08:00

but who am i to you?

meh. not feeling american idol very much this season. talent's a little dry. i miss paula and simon's spats. and ellen's comments are so serious, it's a little scary. ah well.

submitted chapman today. had an unsatisfactory lunch after that. then ended up playing typing maniac and word challenge on ananad's fb for the rest of the aft. i realised word challenge is quite a group engaging game. and that my 8 ball application is crap.

such trivial things i speak of. then again, what is so wrong with trivial? the deeper things in life can sometimes cause so much grief to the soul. at least with the trivial, we know we are safe. we are comfortable. why think so much if that's the case? why burden yourself unnecessarily? i used to have a value that i stand by; that even if the rest of the world wants to live their own life and fuckall, i need to be responsible for myself, and to the people i love. but it's tiring when you're trying so hard and the people you love don't give a rats ass anyway. so i'm putting that value on hold for a while. until something happens. i don't know what. but should i be thinking about it? no, because that would be a waste of my life.

there i go, thinking again. always thinking. thinking.
bookstores are my sanctuary. i need to read. need to read.

what an awfully disjointed blog entry.

the undergraduate.

2010-02-11T18:17:00.002+08:00

that could be the title of a movie.

uni applications are sooo asljfljsdflkja;lejf. was supposed to use today to prepare application documents for just ONE school. and i'm not even half done! preparing for overseas uni is going to be TRIPLE the nightmare.

maybe it's just me. maybe i don't really want to study, and this is just a route i'm taking to avoid becoming a working adult entirely. urgghhgh. sometimes i think i should just be happy with my diploma, and settle for a safe job in a local production house. my far fetched dreams of Hollywood and of independent filmmaking outside of Singapore probably only have a 1% chance of coming true anyway. even going to CalArts seems ridiculous.

so question is: to chase the dream, and potentially face great failure, or not to chase to dream, and not even know if you could have ever made it... does that make sense?

bah, dinner first. thinking later. :)

okay.

2010-01-19T18:02:00.002+08:00

it's been 2 hours. fcp export's at 11%. okay.

anyway. getting over the pms-y hoo-ha. back to looking up universities online. bloody hell, applying for admission is going to be such. a. pain. that is if i ever decide to study overseas. seriously - there's SATs (more studying), resume prep, portfolio construction (and a damn bloody good one at that), international visa shit, etc etc... and looking at tuition and boarding fees just scares the crap out of me. and there's the whole social culture acclimatisation to worry about.

so everything's telling me to go for the easiest, and cheapest option - shall not reveal here - but i really really really really want to see the world outside of here. you know??

anyway i'm just blogging cos i'm waiting for 1800hrs to strike. but if ANYONE knows ANYTHING about studying overseas (US, preferably), please let me consult you. thanks ^^

waiting for the burn.

2010-01-15T22:29:00.004+08:00

i like to think that i am strong. that underneath my slightly pathetic, pushover demeanor, i'm really a warrior at heart.

but one lousy turn of events, and it's like i've been beaten to a pulp. from an outsider's view, it really isn't a big deal. from an outsider's view, it's simply another case of "so it didn't really work out - so what?" you move on. which in fact, should be the right course to take - moving on. but i decide to blame myself for the way things turned out, i let myself feel like a total failure, i let myself think i can never do anything right again.

noticed i used the word 'let'. it's not that i wanted to become this way; i wasn't even aware i was doing that to myself, until my recent actions proved that i was. i'm forgetting things more easily. i don't take as much initiative. motivation is lost. perseverance, willingness, alertness, tolerance... can't find any of it lately. it's weird, because, it was just ONE stupid circumstance - i wouldn't even call it a mistake - just ONE unfortunate event, and i'm resigned to give up everything i've been working so hard for. why is that??

i don't know how i'm going to find any more will to last the next 3 weeks. and even if i do, i don't know what to do to prove myself again. it's not like i have to prove myself to anyone at all - i just really feel the NEED to. because i don't want to be a useless shit. because i know i'm not.

goodnight.

it's 2010.

2010-01-02T10:30:00.001+08:00

have a happy new year. :)

nicholasjoshualee@gmail.com has disconnected

2009-12-30T17:08:00.002+08:00

thought this was quite amusing.

I'M BACK

2009-12-27T23:33:00.002+08:00

• how sad.

• photos on dumpyard soon :)

• feel a little girlier lately.

• MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!

• ...paycheck where?

• need to exchange yhcrap's shirt (tsk)

• recent obsession with learning French

• fave phrase of the holiday:
"les cafe il n'est pas pour les enfants"
(coffee is not for the children)

• still in the holiday mood

• work tomorrow

• ...damn suck.

2009-12-13T21:54:00.006+08:00

THEDUMPYARD

LONG TIME NO SEE

2009-12-11T16:17:00.004+08:00

hello. been a while. life has been flying by faster than i would like, but at least that means xmas is on its way! anyway i'm here because i need a ramble today. stuck at home nursing a relentless cough that's been dragging on since my birthday. and i need a distraction.

so.

first i would like to talk about my new found hobby, photography. i'm glad i finally got a camera and everything, even a film camera from uncle mark and a golden half from my poly friends (thank you all!!) so i'm grateful i've got all the tools to start. but lately i've been getting pressure from everyone around me, for some reason. people sometimes say things like, "eh why you take out your camera but always never take picture?" or like, "eh, tab loves photography, she can takes pictures for you" etc etc etc. yes, i like photography, i'm just starting to love it. but lately, the more people expect things from me, the more i don't want to do it! furthermore, it's not like i'm a pro or anything. and when i say that, people go, "must practice whaat". which, i agree, is true. BUT PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU, LET ME PRACTICE IN MY OWN TIME, WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT, WHENEVER I WANT. please. did i say please? haha.

yeah. so that's all for the photography bit. now i shall move on to girls wanting to be skinny.

i have something to say to the male race. you need to be careful when talking to girls about certain things. and one of the most sensitive topics in history, is weight/fatness. you may think you're being cute, making fun of a girl's flabby arms, or pointing out a layer of fat around her tummy. now, if you don't have a girlfriend, that's probably one of the reasons why. you can say we are petty. you can say, what's the big fat deal - excuse the pun. but most girls take these things to heart. you make average, normal-sized girls think they are elephants, when they are perfectly fine! okay, sure, if you've been friends a long time and you understand each other well enough, that's fine. but for heaven's sake, if you're not great friends, please do not attack her confidence with your careless jokes. thank you.

hehe actually i'm just being angsty today. making mountains out of mole hills. you can go ahead making fun of whoever, but my advice is, if you can help it, try not to cross the line.

i wanted to rant about work as well. but i'm getting sleepy. from the meds or something. anyway to everyone who's feeling like life is a bore, well...it is. but who says you can't make it a party? :) look forward to the festive season!

and also a thousand heartfelt thanks for all your birthday wishes! and for glenn/mark/yinghao/nick who celebrated the first few hours with me, lol. and pheb/eoin/josh, for your interesting gift. and Y.A. girls, for your prayers. it wasn't THAT much of a flop after all :)

they will find a flaw.

2009-11-19T15:57:00.003+08:00

they will. and when they do, it'll be three times worse than if they had seen it in the beginning. sigh.

do you know what i am talking about? i don't really know what i'm talking about. just feeling slightly uneasy at work lately. the dynamic is changing a little bit. then again, i'm always thinking too much.

work aside, i was just pondering recently, whether i make it a point to have fun in life. or if i just sit around and wait for it to find me. then it made me wonder what i consider to be 'fun'. i realised i don't find many things fun. like REALLY fun, you know? like, thrilling. like how some people find clubbing fun, or skateboarding, or dancing. but for me, i really can't think of anything. theme parks, maybe. but how often do any of us get to do that?

if i had to pinpoint a certain occasion i considered to be fun, it would be the recent night out at supperclub - but only at one point in time. that single moment when Guns & Roses came on and we were on the dancefloor. and everyone was singing along to the chorus. it was quite surreal to me, for some reason. but the rest of the night was pretty blah. still don't fit in very well with the clubbing scene.

but yeah. if i could find more moments like that in my life, i would think i'd be a happier person. we should ALL try to find those moments.

i feel like continuing my ramble. cos i am bored out of my mind here. been sitting in this room the whole day. i wanna do new things. but i'm also afraid of screwing up. or not meeting expectations. HOWWWWW

maybe i should start on another short film idea.

bahhh. back to logging for now.

timber.

omg.

2009-11-18T00:09:00.000+08:00

i am the epitome of boring.

what a night.

2009-11-15T05:16:00.000+08:00

what.

a.

night.

isn't it funny,

2009-11-12T20:55:00.002+08:00

that i'm waiting in the office for shitload of files to convert, while listening to Imogen Heap's Wait It Out?

i think it's funny.

anyway. been trying to write a story. an idea for a short film. took a couple days to write, and it was going pretty well, until i stopped believing in my story.

why? i don't know. just did. it didn't feel very special after a while. kinda felt like someone else had already taken the story.

aside from writing that story, been filling my head with all sorts of other distractions. books. music. photoshopping. work, evidently. because every time i stop, the void returns and i get scared. i don't even know where it came from.

bah. stupid emotions. stupid converter. stupid everything.

ha, sorry. a not very sensible and rather non committal post today. just need to type for my sanity tonight. still deciding if i should stay overnight in office. hate leaving things half done. bloody hell.

i may need supperclub on sat.

2009-11-05T09:34:00.001+08:00

to fly away would be a splendid thing

doctors today

2009-11-02T19:15:00.004+08:00

need to learn to treat their patients like humans.

i stormed out of the doc's office today. after waiting for 2 hours, during which i suffered 2 or 3 excruciating stomach spasms, the doc dismissed me after a mere 3 minute consultation.

yes, i know the polyclinic is busiest on mondays and you need to wrap up each case as quickly as possible. that's fine. at least look me in the damn eye and do not treat me like i'm just another teenager looking for an mc. because i was in genuine pain, but you didn't seem to believe me.

even family doctors today aren't very family-oriented at all! nor dentists. i hate walking a room full of people wearing face masks who don't really acknowledge you, then charge you a hell of a sum for a brief consultation.

i understand you all have a job to do. all i am asking is to remember that your patients are people, not "cases". FYI, you are holding one of the highest paying jobs in society. it won't hurt to be a little nicer.

flickr

2009-10-29T00:08:00.003+08:00

updated.

whole day shoot today. brain's dead. so are my legs. twas fun tho.

i feel like a rant. been thinking a lot lately. but these eyelids weigh a ton and my brain's working at about 5%. so ima rant another time.

goodnight, now.

p.s. happy birthday, baby sister.

what the hell, man.

2009-10-28T00:46:00.000+08:00

what the hell.

HELLOHELLOHELLOHELLOHELLO

2009-10-22T16:19:00.002+08:00

HELLOHELLO I AM FINALLY BLOGGING
not that anyone has missed me here. BUT YES. i am blogging.

i'm taking a break. logging is getting to me. i wanna do transcribinggg. and cutting screeners is a scary task, especially when you know how high the expectation is. sigh.

but anyhow. great time catching up with nad, cheryl & zaf last night. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NADIAH (HAZWANI? lol) it's always nice to reminisce about our tard days in yishun town. and nad drives! i have a friend who drives now!!! we're officially cool.

speaking of cool, i realized in general society, you're 'cool' if you do/have the following traits:
• you are fluent in vulgarities (of various languages and dialects)
• you smoke
• you adopt a bad-ass, screw-the-world-type-attitude
• you are selective with your friends
• you're thin beyond words (if you're a girl)
• you're a wisecrack (if you're a guy)
• (?)

i probably only fit one of the points above. which i'm not proud of. i think it's sad that our definition of cool has become that warped. i mean, no one would actually admit those are 'cool' traits. but reality proves it. i see it happening around me everyday. and i don't think that idea will change any time soon.

BUT THEN i was also thinking lately. i've come to the conclusion that things HAVE to suck. things can't go smoothly. they're not meant to. we need sadness. we need anger. we need grief. we can't live in a perfect world. i think that would be boring. but then, i thought, what the hell would heaven be like, then? (haha, get it, what the HELL, and, HEAVEN ha ha) but then again, the bible says that Jesus loves parties. He was always goin to parties. so yeah. parties are good. so i guess it's okay that heaven's perfect.

kay enough rant. better get back to the logging. zz.

to make instant noodles,

2009-10-11T21:03:00.002+08:00

or not to make instant noodles. that is tonight's question.

i've been eating a whole lot lately. and i end up getting really full, and then really hungry just minutes after.

what's happening!??

anyway. got the mac back. it's literally brand new. and that sucks. i miss my worn out stickers on the deck. and my folders and folders of useless but pretty images. and the million bookmarked pages on my firefox. but oh well.

the weekends are over. a new work week's on it's way OH SH-- MONTHLY LOG DUE. curses. christmas needs to happen soon. we need a little merry in the dull.

18 weeks,

2009-10-05T22:55:00.003+08:00

just 18 more weeks. COME ON.

i realized how much i despise routine. not that i am in love with complete spontaneity. but the thought of sitting in an office all day, 5 days a week, in front of the computer, with an hour lunch break at someplace usually utterly unexciting, and facing horrendous traffic going home, puts me in a very lousy mood.

so i'm wholly grateful whenever i get to run little errands outside of the office or go on shoots. not sure if the life of a film editor is what i really want. UNLESS i get full reign over all my projects. muaha. which is of course, unlikely. pft

but that i shall worry about later in life. right now, i miss my friends, my MAC, my school (wut!?), my holidays, my music, my tumblr... every day is one day closer to freedom.

i shall be waiting. :)

P.S. GLEE IS AMAZING!

WEEKENDS,

2009-10-02T23:53:00.001+08:00

i laave you. please don't go.

you know,

2009-09-28T22:27:00.003+08:00

sometimes i really don't know what to say.

i know in retrospect, you probably don't mean it. but you have no idea how at that point in time, that one simple phrase or mild action of yours can cut a person right through the heart. a person who loves you more than you are aware of. and you have no clue! you sit there, and go back to watching your stupid telly series and your online books and e-shopping, anything else but your textbooks and math homework, which, by the way, you should be taking very seriously at this point. hello!? you have less than a month. and you REFUSE any help from ANYONE, yet you complain like nobody's business about how badly you're doing, and you push the blame to your teachers, your school, everyone except yourself.

i really don't know what you expect. and not that i've been such a great and noble older sibling. i try my best. but this isn't about me being a good sister. this is about what kind of person you are turning out to be. and because you are as stubborn as a million mules put together, i don't know who can help you.

so for now, i can only pray. i hope you wake up.

2009-09-27T22:52:00.003+08:00

LOOK AT MY BADASS GLOW-IN-THE-DARK SCORPIO TATTOO
YEAH IT FRIGGIN GLOWS IN THE DARK, YALL
IT'S SO BADASS, I CAN'T EVEN TELL YOU HOW BADASS IT TRULY ISSSS

ugh. and so a new week of enslavement begins.

weekend was good though. had tea in the shmancy shangri-la hotel on saturday. and on sunday my family helped out at moulmein's childrens day thing. which was where i got my BADASS TATT, ppl :D the makeovers for the kids were totally badass as well.

yep. badass weekend. sort of. hope work'll start to get a little more eggciting. cmonnnn. hope everyone's doing okay too. 19 more weeks ppl! lets do this shit

:)

lone soul,

2009-09-25T18:06:00.003+08:00

so. i've been mostly alone in the office the whole day today. except for a couple of guys who came and went. quite thankful i didn't have to face any awkwardness or anything today. too much awkwardness can kill.

it's 6:10. i should be able to leave by 6. especially since no one's in. but i got a call from this guy who needs access into the office later. so. i'm just waiting around. tumblring. blogging. twittering. facebooking. msn-ing. every possible social networking site that may connect me to the outside world to help me forget i'm sitting alone in a dimly lit office with a cold-- OH THE GUY'S HERE.

shall update laters. haha. for my own entertainment.

zomg,

2009-09-21T19:47:00.004+08:00

internship starts tomorrow. and i'm down with some flu-like thing. which seems to be leading into a slight fever. what brilliant timing.

but i must say, the combination of panadol and cough syrup really helps with the sleeping problem. the effect also feels a little like the time when we downed that deadly bottle of smirnoff. ha.

SIGH. well. all the best to everyone starting tomorrow, or the day after, or those who've already started, and to our friends interning overseas.

PAYDAY, COME QUICKKKK

listening to bjork - all is full of love

BLOGGER IS BACK

2009-09-18T13:33:00.003+08:00

yessssssssssss thank you.

so.

we all just got our results. i think most of us didn't quite expect what we got. good or bad, what the hay. tis just numbers and alphabets. life goes on.

i'm actually looking forward to internship now. ok i'm looking forward to paychecks. cos i realize how much i really would like an slr. AND a digital. might resort going to the IT fair in december if i don't get any good deals elsewhere. ugh. BUT I WILL GET THOSE CAMERAS, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES (which is pretty damn long cos my pay is indeed meagre).

and please don't tell me i could use the money for better causes. i KNOW that. but i make my contributions to the community in other ways, and i am saving my OWN money to support my OWN hobbies. i think that is fair enough, no? - to someone on tumblr

k off to lunch. then to read. hope tonight'll be fun

listening to zee avi - honey bee

fml. sort of.

2009-09-14T17:54:00.002+08:00

so right now, tumblr looks like this:

and blogger still looks like this:

and facebook's not working properly.
i've already finished reading Stardust.
and my phone's being an ass.

so this means i have no excuse but to walk my dog, the raging wolverine. sigh.

so,

2009-09-13T00:14:00.006+08:00

sleeping before midnight is becoming quite the chore. i toss and turn in bed for what feels like hours until it's all warm and uncomfortable. and i when i do finally get a wink, the alarm goes off too soon and i wake up feeling like hell.

INTERNSHIP'S STARTING IN A WEEK. zomg. no more hols for us. not for a long time that is. sigh.

i'm still thinkin about those bershka boots. or that jacket from uniqlo. or a new phone. possibly. !?!??

new tumblr theme! not that anyone really goes there.

i am ALMOST done with Stardust. ALMOSTTTT.

guess no dvd marathon this hol. lol. UNLESS YOU GUIZ'RE STILL ON

2009-09-08T22:48:00.001+08:00

i wish i were smarter.
i wish i were prettier.
i wish i were thinner.
i wish i were more talented.
i wish i were richer.
i wish i had better fashion sense.
i wish i were successful in life.
i wish i were dead.
i wish i were more alive.
i wish i were cooler.
i wish i were born elsewhere.
i wish i knew Jesus in person.
i wish i were famous.
i wish i were away from here.
i wish i were in bed.
i wish i were in Prague.
i wish i had a best friend.
i wish i had best friends.
i wish i had nice shoes.
i wish i were in love.
i wish i were happy.
i wish i were better.
i wish i were perfect.

...but it's all cool.

2009-09-06T00:08:00.001+08:00

2009-09-04T22:37:00.002+08:00

via lookbook.nu
i believe i am turning into a girl. like a girly girl, i mean. all that online window shopping and lookbook-ing is actually getting me interested in fashion. whoa? i am slowly losing myself, ppl.

maybe its cos im bored at home. i left the book i was reading (it was Stardust; yes i take forever to finish) in the car, so i had nothing else productive to do. and other than friends' blogs and tumblr, there isn't anything else that interesting online. i am actually downloading internship documents right now. :|

bah. anyway. till something interesting happens, bye.

rant

2009-09-03T11:12:00.003+08:00

like daniel's, my blogger's gone minimal again. i kinda like it this way though. but i'm also thinking of switchin wordpress or something. see how.

so anyways. i've sort of been grounded by the mother. i came back at midnight last night, which btw was the time we agreed on, and she came into my room, telling me she can't go back to sleep cos i woke her up. so i apologized. then, like all mothers, she dragged in a bunch of other stuff to substantiate her case. you know. just for fun. usually unrelated things. like overspending of my allowance, wanting to spend time with friends and not family, going out "everyday". 3 days in a row is everyday sia. so i tell her, we're on holiday break; the last holiday break we'll have in a long time. and she was like, did you work as hard during your school term as compared to how much you're having fun now?

-deep breaths-

but she did make a point about responsibilities (ugh). i didn't quite agree with the fact that i was "pushing the limit". but i guess being 18, being the older sister, and the fact that i still live under this roof, that my parents pay for my expenses, etc, i am required to carry some responsibility, to make sacrifices, and not live my life the way i want all the time. so fine. yes. i understand that.

BUT STILL. i sometimes feel like i'm being treated like i'm four. like c'monnnn. i mean... what would Jesus do? lol. sigh. so the conditions are that if i go out, i must be back home by dinner time. and if i'm home, chores are to be done. once in a while if i do go out in the evening, gotta be back by 10.

so. looking at the circumstances, the internet is going to be my best friend for awhile. and books too. sorry for the long rant. i love my mom. i do. just sayin that sometimes the rein gets a little tight.

have a good afternoon.

truth is,

2009-08-30T01:01:00.004+08:00

i feel like i have something to say. but the more i think about it, the more words escape me. you know that feeling like you're stuck in limbo? time's moving, events are passing, but you're just sort of there, in the middle of everything, watching it all go by. you try to move. you try to run with the rest of the world. you try to make something happen. but you end up in square one. everyday you wake up and realise you're still in limbo.

and it's not that you're sad about it or anything. there's nothing really upsetting about it. it's more of that ominous feeling of uncertainty. you sense something isn't right but you can't do anything about it cos you have no goddamn clue what it is! you're sitting in a waiting room, and all you hear is the commercial playing on the tv and the lady at the counter tapping her pen against the table. the stillness is getting unbearable, and you think you're about to crack.

maybe God's being quiet this time.
or maybe i'm not listening hard enough.
but the silence is killing me.

in other news,
WE'RE FREE.

2009-08-25T23:33:00.000+08:00

tick, tock, tick, tock...

...all these damn distractions;

TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK...

2009-08-22T23:45:00.001+08:00

i don't think anyone has the slightest motivation to study for killjoy exams next week. only have about two days left to cram a semester's worth of shiz.

so, to give myself some sort of drive, i thought maybe it'll help if i list out my future prospects.

Tisch Asia - Film
Tisch at NYU - Film & Television
USC - Film & Television Production
New York Film Academy - Filmmaking
Los Angeles Film School - Film (whoa, dreamin a bit big here)
Chapman University - Film Production
London Film School - MA Filmmaking (wth is MA, anyone?)

soooo yeah. those are currently what i'm looking at for now. i dream too big sometimes. but what the hayy.

still, a lot of those options-- no, ALL of those options require a shitload of prep. in terms of finance, portfolio, taking SATs, etc... a lot stands in the way. so. i guess we'll see how much i really want it.

yeah, sort of a self-indulgent post today. but isn't it always.

anyway good luck to all MCMers. we're almost through. WAHOO

2009-08-16T21:39:00.004+08:00

who knew a lousy bottle of cheap long island tea could screw your head over. omg. and walking your overexcited dog when you're tipsy isn't the best idea in the world. guh. just wanna go to bed now. but i've got damn scripts to compile. asdfl;asldkjf

2009-08-16T02:08:00.002+08:00

omgah. i think insomnia's back. frigonometry.
maybe if i read a textbook or something...

2009-08-13T22:22:00.000+08:00

i've decided to grow some balls and send my application for vietnam tomorrow.
why grow some balls? because we'll need to get vaccinated and shit.
and i hate needles. they make me feel vulnerable. and helpless. it's like i'm so much bigger than the friggin needle, but i can't stop it from inflicting pain to my body.
txw, i hope you're going. then we can hold hands and get our shots together. :(

to all the imc people, congrats on making it to the finish line. if you're feeling down, cheer up mates. you've fought one hell of a battle, and now you are free men. :)

wtf is wrong with blogger btw? pfft

kay, off to increase my tumblarity. bai

2009-08-10T15:09:00.000+08:00

my dog smells like petrol.
why?
because my parents have decided to smear neem oil all over her on a regular basis.
it's supposed to be really effective for tick removal.
apparently honey's got mutant ticks cos those buggers aint moving.

so now, she's got mutant ticks AND smells like petrol.

in other news. deadlines officially come to an end this coming monday. YEAAHHH.
then it's mugmugmugging time.
then exam time.
then FREEEEDUMMMM

i can say goodbye to the vietnam trip though.
ah well. more slacking for me.

2009-08-09T19:33:00.000+08:00

this blog cannot look any more minimal.
AND I LIKE IT.

i am however not liking the way some things are turning out in my life. so i've turned to angry rap music and solo jamming in my room for hours. SO FKING EMO HAHAHAH

i've given up on most things. and in a way i feel a little lighter. not happier, exactly. just lighter.

speaking of lighter, i need to exercise. exercise + angry rap music sounds good.

oh and happy birthday, singapore. happy birthday.

2009-08-06T17:04:00.000+08:00

this. is.

SPARTAAAA

2009-07-31T08:49:00.001+08:00

this looks hella fun

2009-07-24T00:27:00.005+08:00

CRAZY WEEK. CRAZY CRAZY. SO CRAZY I HAVENT BEEN ON TUMBLR FOR AWHILE AND MY TUMBLARITY IS NOW SUPERBLY LAUGHABLE.

but that doesn't really matter. (right.)

what matters, is how the vast amount of work we've to deal with, is making us forget other things that are happening. which, for me, is kind of a good thing at this point. cos lately i've going to bed thinking about deadlines and meetings and annoying group members, instead of my weird depression issues. which i never really talked about to anyone. the depression thing. cos ppl dismiss it as just another one of my emo phases. it actually got pretty serious at one point. but don't ask me about it. cos i have no idea how it came about. ha

POINT IS. i don't feel like killing myself as much as of late. so i'm kind of sort of grateful ish for the mad workload. not the stress that comes with it though. but. yeah. KTHXBYE!

peace. (^^)v

2009-07-13T00:06:00.002+08:00

i'm at the point where i don't feel like doing anything anymore.
is that cool with you?

2009-07-08T10:37:00.001+08:00

GIVE UP LAH

2009-07-05T21:14:00.002+08:00

i think God has blessed me too much in this life. so i recognize the little punishments i get for enjoying life too much. such as traffic being a bitch when i'm running late. or getting missed calls on my phone.

it is an irritating fact in my life, that whenever i am paying attention to my phone, NOBODY calls, but when i'm NOT looking at my phone for just FIVE minutes, God decides to let the whole world give me a call. in the end, people get upset. and i don't have any good excuse. then there will be the unnecessary tension, which is not always difficult, but uncomfortable to break. pfft.

for the record though, i am sorry if i don't answer my phone sometimes. i'd be annoyed at me too. and i have no excuse for my... oblivion. so. my bad.

on another note, finally took my board out again today. rach, mel & i + mark, chuck & friend met up to skate & take lomos. strange combi of humans. but i liked the carpark. none of those in stinkin yishun. and my skills are still as bad. i don't think they can even be called skills. but no matter. RACH! faster get a non-carrefour board so we can practice tgt and not look as noob.

on yet another note, not looking forward to the coming weeks. at all.
g'night!

2009-07-02T18:54:00.003+08:00

CAN'T WAIT TO USE FISHEYEEEE
YEEEEAAAHHHHH

2009-07-01T23:44:00.002+08:00

okay.
okay. okay. must. look. beyond this.
okay... okay.

2009-06-26T01:01:00.002+08:00

my room was in a mess today. clothes piling up. books everywhere. miscellaneous items in places they shouldn't be. usually, if i were feeling fine and dandy, i'd be freaking out and putting everything back in place. today, the sight of the chaos in my room didn't bother me at all.

something is wrong.

2009-06-23T01:58:00.002+08:00

glennwoo/yhcrap/nicklee/mengfei/danielong: i kind of miss you ppl.
hol assignments are so very unawesome. and so very screwed.
and sigh. post-camp syndrommmmmme.

don't wanna do nothin else
but to love and make music

2009-06-18T00:15:00.000+08:00

goodbye.

2009-06-15T01:06:00.002+08:00

the middle finger on my right hand is plastered up, because the nail is half-chipped, and thus very vulnerable. so typing efficiently is quite ridiculous at the moment. and i've got a 1200-word paper that i've to chiong before i leave for m'sia (yess!!) so that's gonna be challenging. and whats MOST annoying, is when you're playing the guitar and you can't pluck with your middle finger. so your rhythm gets all retarded. srsly. a. nnoy. ing.

2009-06-12T01:33:00.004+08:00

i hate the fact that the hols aren't going to feel like hols. right now there isn't much to do, but i can just see the inevitable dark cloud approaching. basket.

in other news we watched monsters vs aliens 3-DEEEE. sorry nicholas. lol. i didn't know paul rudd and seth rogen were in it. that upped the level straight away. :D overall the show was okaaay la. funny bits here and there. i liked the giant grub best. followed by bob (seth rogen), the brainless blue jello. not that you would care. but yes.

and i wanna watch 500 days of summerrr. and tim burton's 9. the trailer looks all gloomy and epic. which makes a great combi. i always get excited when the trailer comes on.

kay off to bed.

INSECTORRR

2009-06-10T12:24:00.006+08:00

can't believe i stayed up till near midnight playing Halo 2 with bev. so... unlike me. and i sucked like straws. bev was the one doing all the alien ass kicking.

still. it was fun.

anywhoo. i realized people around me are getting angstier than i am lately, to the point that i've been getting yelled or snapped at more often these days. usually unintentionally. but still.

come to think of it, it's been a trend my whole life actually. i think when people know me long enough, they think it's fine to snap at me or show me attitude. cos they know i don't make a fuss. mostly i just shut up and take it in. ...and for what?? i don't know. honestly i don't see a point in bothering. doesn't mean it feels good to be snapped at. doesn't mean i don't forget about it. but doesn't mean i don't lubbz euu after either.

lol. just needed to blog something to pass the time. don't know where my group members are. sigh. oh and glenn's coming back tonight! and my mom just left for bangkok this morn. switch place. lol. but she's coming back tonight too. :) hopefully can go to the airport later.

gaaaaaaaaaaah. ~all alone again, i can't wait to get on the road again...~

2009-06-06T16:36:00.003+08:00

bah. lomo photos were disappointing. i should capture more colours. i've put up the more decent ones on my flickr if you're remotely interested to see how they turned out.

feeling a little lost today. got projects pending, but my mind is far away. i want to go to that mandai place, the one with the tall tower and the getty and the isolation. and sit down and draw. and take photos. and eat calbee hot and spicy chips. :D

anyway, who's up for monsters & aliens!

2009-06-05T00:45:00.001+08:00

i want my hair back.

2009-06-02T20:32:00.007+08:00

YISHUN NEWS: STARBUCKS IS HERE!
not sure if its actually operating yet, but its there, lookin cosy and inviting. yishun ppl are all quivering with excitement.

in other news. school is a big fat killjoy. its making everyone get erratic mood swings. and sometimes i don't know how to act around them. and i kind of failed with my anti-peachtea/coke plan.

[sidetrack] lol i just offered my dad a packet of mamee and he was like, 'mummy's in the room'. HAHA. [/sidetrack]

and its like a large portion of my life is spent in the tumblr world, which isn't very healthy, ever-inspiring as it may be. and i'm getting that feeling again, the one where you feel inexplicably useless in your own little bubble of a universe, and you think you should be doing something more purposeful, like missionary work in Africa. and its been eons but i'm still only halfway through Marley & Me. UGHH. and i'm also complaining too much so i shall stop here and now.

KATY PERRY - Thinking of You
the song that's been on loop lately.

oh and the very late tag replies:

glenn- YEAH! sort of. haha. tweaked. muaha. now it looks so clean.

xw- its okay i gave up on the plan hahah. sigh. thx anw! so sweet (:

din- thank you! someday maybe :D someday...

dan- maybe i'll just have a home cinema. :O thats awesomer.

yh/coke/peachtea- veh lame eh. you know not. veh lame.

nick- \\//,

dawn- thank you! i just did it on fireworks lol.

esther- ESTHERCHANJINRONG! when can we all meet!! lol heyyy